What's Inside

I see other people do it -
share their feelings and hurts;
on facebook for example,
just the other day,
I saw someone share her heart,
full of tears,
and receive strengthening feedback -
dozens of comments
to comfort her.

Could I ever do this?

I hide, especially when things aren't okay.
I fear being ignored, overlooked, and talked about.
I imagine posting something so heart wrenching,
laying it all out,
and then having no one respond.

Through the years,
friendships change,
life changes,
and it's okay.
But when there are people
who you would gladly set aside
time for - seconds, minutes, more -
that do not see you,
you wonder
if they choose to ignore,
or if they have better things to do,
and you are overlooked
or deleted,
traded in for something meaningless,
that looks so much more important;
and to protect yourself,
you have to separate yourself from your words,
essentially from your heart
& who you really are,
and you don't know if you can do it.

You don't know if you can pretend that
it's okay
when there isn't time
for what's inside,
and you're not encouraged
to open more.

Thank you dear friend, for reading this,

I'm am afraid to write things like this -

I don't feel bad for me,

I don't want anyone to feel bad for me;

Just want to express my feelings about things

more vulnerably -

and I know I could go deeper and further

and explain more,

but I am afraid;

why am I both afraid of being noticed,

and of no one noticing?

A little more explanation is in a comment.