Green Pastures

Wow.

This land is luscious, fascinating.  The rich greens, nourishing.  Imagine laying on your back in a favorite spot here for hours, fresh grass cleansing your mind as you breathe it in, its softness beneath you.  You are set apart from time in this space.  No harm, no cares, no rush of life pulling you in different directions as you rest in this freedom.

These wide open places, these wide open spaces are realities we can enter into when we press in to God, through prayer and quiet times with Him.  As is stated in Psalm 23 - "He makes me lie down in green pastures and leads me beside quiet waters. He refreshes my soul."  We can use this great rest and refreshing in all seasons of life, but especially during the hustle and bustle of the holidays.  As we take time to spend with Jesus, He leads us to green pastures and walks with us through them, because of His great love.

Whatever season of life you are in while reading this, I pray you are encouraged to take the time to rest and refresh your mind.  Take refuge in God who is your strength, solid rock, fortress, rescuer, shield, salvation, and safe haven.  Allow Him to fill your mind with nourishment and cleanse you.  You are greatly loved.


"We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise."  
Romans 5:2 (The Message)

On Water

 

I have this desperate need for Jesus.  

Is anyone else feeling it?

I've tried to do this (life) on my own, and can't do it (well).

Relying on my own strength and ability means drowning in the depth of overwhelming emotions.  Over and over again I have tried to lift myself up from sinking, to no avail.

I've reached up here and there, but like Peter I have feared and doubted, causing me to go back under.

Jesus stood before Peter, ON the water, urging him to come towards Him.  I picture Peter staring straight at Jesus, right into His eyes, as he walked on the water.  I imagine him thinking "am I really doing this?", then looking around at what surrounded him - wind & waves - and allowing doubt to come in and drag him down.

How often do we do this in our lives?  I know how often I have done so in mine.  Every time I take my eyes off Jesus and look at the circumstances of reality, I sink.  My faith is small, but if I give it to Him, He multiplies what little I have and moves mountains with it.  He can feed multitudes with it.  

I can't, but He can.

I must give credit where it is due.  All the glory goes to God in my case.  That is my testimony, 

which is full of many stories.  

For now, I will continue to keep my eyes fixed on Him, the words of my favorite hymn playing in my mind, "Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in His wonderful face, and the things of earth with turn strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace."  I will reach for His outstretched hand and walk on the water.  

What does the water represent in my life?  

It represents doubt, uncertainty, fear, depression, regret, anger - emotions that drag me down, seeking to drown me.  

What does it mean to walk on these waters? 

It means to trust in the opposite of each and every one of those negative emotions.  It means to follow Jesus, embracing the faith, belief, courage, joy, grace, mercy, and peace that He gives.  When I remain fixed on Him, I am able to rise above and receive these good and perfect gifts.  

What are the waters in your life?

How will you rise above, and walk ON them?

Will you reach out your hand for Jesus, 

keeping your eyes fixed on Him?

LIGHT - Year in Review

My word for 2014 was LIGHT.

I did not sculpt my word out of wire as had been my practice for my words in the past - 

FREEDOM

TRANSFORM

I did order a canvas from my friend Anna to represent my word, which I placed on the wall above my stove, 
so I see it daily while I am cooking.

 

 Anna shared a message with me about my word and this piece:

"When I see a picture of a sunrise/sunset, I honestly don't know which it is. It depends on where you are. And sometimes when we go through changes, we don't know. Is this the beginning or the end of the light? In life, I wonder if there is one destiny. For some people, change can be the end. Other people choose to make transitions the beginning. I believe that light or darkness are no inevitabilities, but rather something we choose and we chase."

She took her time in deciding what to create for me.  She waited for inspiration to come to her, then created this image authentically. 

 

My blog was very quiet this year - I did not feel inspired to share much here.  I have continued to change my settings from private to public to only certain readers, and back to private again.  What I have shared beyond a couple of posts about light has been kind of depressing.  You would think that my year of LIGHT would be full of BRIGHT SHINING LIGHT.

(this photo and the ones below are pictures i took from my front window of the "supermoon")

The kind of light I experienced 
wasn't the gleaming light that blinds a person.

It wasn't the kind of draining sun 
that evaporates all the water and causes parched thirst.

It wasn't a scorching summer sun 
that burns the skin and dries up the land.

As I reflect on this, I have tears in my eyes.  I am taking deep breaths as I realize how truly meaningful my quiet year of light has been.  I have sat with the deep seated melancholy & infinite sadness that has been part of me since I was so much younger.  Through it all, the light has been consistent.  It is there even when the clouds cover it.  It reaches into the deepest part of my being, even when it glows as subtly as the sliver of a crescent moon or becomes blurred by movement.

 

I feel like I have just been waiting.  Patiently at times, not so patiently at others.  Angry sometimes, pleading for something to break through.  Sad other times, fighting to genuinely smile.  

There were many sad things in 2014, especially as the year came to an end.  Sad things that happened to people in our community, hard things that happened to people we know.  

We pretend to wear shields, but when things happen it chinks into our armor and pierces our vulnerability.  

I found myself crying out "what the * is this life!?" many times. 

 

As I reflect, it wasn't the year I was expecting, but I have a feeling that it's going to end up being one of the most important years of my life.  A year of deep growth, and rooting.  I have the image of a seed that lies deep underground, soaking in the warmth and important elements in the light rays that seep and penetrate through the darkness of layers of dirt, coaxing those life elements that exist inside to emerge

because of the existence of everlasting, consistent LIGHT.

There are two instrumental songs that have stuck out to me specifically while listening to songs play on one of my Pandora stations.  They both are about LIGHT.  Here are the YouTube videos that are my favorite choices to accompany the music.

"Where the LIGHT Gets In"

This video shows a choreographed dance from the top 10 dancers of a season of "So You Think You Can Dance," one of my favorite shows.  The choreography is by Travis Wall, who creates beautiful contemporary dances.  I did not see this before searching on YouTube recently for a video to accompany this song by Sennen, so I was happily surprised to see this gorgeous dance here.

 They Move on Tracks of Never Ending Light
This video is full of beautiful images to accompany the music.  There are lots of glimpses of light here.