Morning Glory

it can't be held back -

the morning opens in its

fullness of glory

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Recuerda Mi Corazon

Friday Haiku Community



Silence

When the silence calls,

why is it so hard

to respond, to listen?

 

It goes against the grain

of what I think I want,

what I think I need.

 

 

And yet, I long for it,

yearn for it,

but when it comes,

I question its presence,

forgetting it's preciousness.



The calling of a rarefied existence,

to subsist below the pressure

of the atmosphere.

 

To hallow the hollow,

to delve into

the depths.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

To embrace

the silence

for the life

it brings.

To move myself

to a place

where silence

is venerated.

 

 

 



 

Gnome

 

little garden gnome

oh do tell from whence you roam

help find our way home

 

 

 

 

 

Sharing with:

Mi Corazon

Haiku Friday



::Breathe:: while ::Waiting::

I have been feeling so impatient, so in need of change,

so ready to move forward into something new. 

I need the messages of these wire words I've recently sculpted,

which fit so well together with the message to

 

Breathe

while

Waiting.

 

I need to.

 

Deb won the giveaway that I offered here recently,

and I had the opportunity to sculpt her word, breathe.

These words are from her blog, as is the image below:

 

one two three. be still

breathe belly deep, exhale slow

let go. calm down. BE

 

 

reminder to breathe...deeper, longer.

 

While

 

like my authentic friend Anna.

Some of her words are below.

 

"As I think about waiting, I think of these pages full of longing, confusion, pain, and joy."

 

"It might sound like a passive word, but wait is an active verb. It is an action that we take. That day I learned that waiting is brave when everyone else is moving past you. It is brave to believe that there is something better ahead, while letting the opportunities of the present expire."

 

"Those of us that are idealists are always waiting. I could write volumes more about the waiting, and what I'm continuing to learn." 

 

I do look forward to reading more stories,

that are part of the volumes, Anna.

 

 

These words are woven into my story as I mold and sculpt and wrap the wire, prayerfully meditating on the message of the word and the meaning for its recipient.  As I continue my own freedom pursuit, these words help guide my soul, too.

Freedom, I am still reaching for you.

 

 

 Vivian, the collection of wire word sculptures continues growing, fulfilling your very special vision!

 

Ellen, I think you're like the dendrologist I mentioned in my last post, there has been more going on beneath the surface than I think I realized - proprioceptive?

Free to Forgive

There are some things that trained eyes have the ability to see, and no one else can. Such as the beginning of a disease on a seemingly healthy tree, as noticed by a dendrologist. 

 

 

While untimely deaths are never welcomed by the loved ones who have no choice but to accept their losses, suicides are a particularly hard breed to handle.  They come with their own set of dimensions and what ifs and could haves and blames. 

 

On Saturday, I did the Out of the Darkness walk for Sheri, and as I pushed my girls along the four miles, catching glimpses of light on the lake's water between trees, I had time to think.  The trained senses of a mentor noticed something in me as I spoke to her about Sheri recently. 

A five word phrase was what she spoke to me: "You need to forgive her." 

Simple words that move mountains.

 

How can it be that I did not forgive my best friend? 

The truth stuck like a square peg in a round hole. 

One of the knots in my fibers, seen and being pulled free. 

The freedom to forgive, a pin pointed revelation to scrape away barnacles of old.   

 

It is fitting that the freedom to forgive would be a truth

that found me this year of my freedom pursuit. 

I have realized the need to forgive myself;

I have realized that I need to forgive Sheri.

I do believe it is true that we know not what we do.

Forgiveness is a balm, a salve,

and within its power lies restoration

and freedom.



Thread Painting

My attraction to the infinitesimal began after watching an Antique Roadshow episode that featured an 1819 Philadelphia School Girl Silk Embroidered Picture.  Since then, the infinitesimal has become one of my secret obsessions, with messages about its meaning scattered around the world for me to find and seek. 

That is why, when I found out that a Thread Painting course was being offered at Peters Valley, led by artist Missy Stevens, I had to go.

Thread painting is all about using tiny stitches to bring your image to life.  Using a punch thread needle, and the colors of your choice, you punch tiny holes into your fabric to create the image of your desire.  You can shade with your thread, create shadows, add brightness.  You can use metallic thread to cause sparkle and shine.  You can add beads to your piece.  There is such depth of creativity and freedom allowed through this medium, and *there are no rules*.

 

This piece is the lovely Gina's, an amazing artist who is currently working on her MFA.

This is Judy's, whose husband volunteers at Peter's Valley,

and whose son is an amazing woodworking artist. 

It turns out that Judy was secretly inspired by

his cityscapes in the creation of her piece.

Here is the wonderful Missy, working ingeniously on a piece she has been creating.

By the end of the workshop, I was able to complete as much as you see

on the piece on the left, which is mine. 

(The one on the right is Gina's.)

I love this form of art.  It speaks to me with depth on many levels.  The piece I am creating is called
"A gift for you" and is with the pink hands holding out a blue heart.  The background is a circular rainbow.  All this week, I've been stitching for an hour here, an hour there, or a few rows when I am able.  More has been added, but I will take time to write about it again more next week.  For now, this is an introduction and a record of memory of my beginnings with this unique technique.

Here is just a quick photo

of where I am at with my piece so far:

 



Peters Valley

Across the Delaware, a right turn beyond the bridge,

is a special place that is closer to my home

than the grocery store is.

 

Peters Valley Craft Center

 

 

I made the page above in my Freedom Journal,

using words and pictures from an outdated workshop schedule I'd had in my collage collection.

Looking back on it now, I realize that making the page fueled my desire to take a class there, made me see that I really needed to do it as something to take care of me.

 

 

It is to the left of the page that reminds me

"you are free to soul nurture."

So, soul nurture I did.

 

 

Tomorrow, I will write a post about the workshop I took.



Fiber Art

There is something about fabric and textiles; a depth that speaks to me in stitches and textures.  Mixed media art has always drawn me to it, as there is freedom and possibility in the ability to add elements that are usually not paired together.  Fiber art has become more and more interesting to me, and filled me with the desire to get my hands on fabrics and create pieces that are filled with tactile surfaces.  Later this week I will share about my introduction to Thread Painting, from a workshop I took over the weekend.


When I see and read about fiber arts, I am filled with awe and a desire for more.  There is an artist who creates archaeological treasures out of fiber: Diane Savona.  Her artist statement is: "Like an archaeologist digging out the remains of ancient cultures, I search out estate sales, looking for the recent artifacts of past generations.  Crocheted doilies and embroidered tablecloths - common in our grandmother's lives - are becoming extinct. By presenting them as unearthed specimens, I hope to change viewer perception of our textile heritage."  The art shown to the right and below are examples of her work.  The one below is from her Domestic Archaeology series, and is called Chest.  The pieces titled Ancient Text (1, 2, and 3) also open in the same style, and her Clothespin Shrine is something else to see.

 

What messages are conveyed through these art-full artifacts. 

Recently I came upon an article in the Smithsonian magazine, while waiting in the reception area of my childrens' doctor office for their well visits.  I captured as much as I could onto a tiny piece of paper to record the importance of this article's subject matter.  It resonated strongly with the significance of the small, and my desire to create art pieces surrounding the ideas presented in the article. 

The piece talked about a chemist who takes silk artifacts and tests them to discover their age.  Just a miniscule amount of the collected material is needed for testing; 5mg. has lots of compound, or even only a 1/100 speck is needed to analyze the fabric, which is made up of D to L amino acids. Chemist Mehdi Molini and his team dissolve the fabric in chemicals and test it to discover the date of creation. 



I could imagine pairing the fabric pieces together with  close-up microscopic photos of their molecular makeup, including a diagram of the process by which the fabric is made, and faces of those people who make it.  All of it = works of art.   Each stitch made complete. 

This is just the beginning, but through fiber arts and all of its possibilities, I am finding a voice through which I may speak.

Tremendously Free

 

Imagine:

not just free,

as if that is not enough,

but TREMENDOUSLY free.

What a word.

 

That is what I read recently in a book I've had on my shelf for years, and wanted to finally trade to get some more credits on Paperbackswap.  I thumbed through it before posting, because I saw someone had it as a wish reserve, meaning it'd be requested right away.  So glad I did that because what words.  (The book is Addicted to Mediocrity: 20th Century Christians and the Arts, by Frankie Schaeffer)

 

I found what I needed to find:

 

On page 39:  "Creativity, human worth, the arts, cultural endeavor, the media, communication, enjoyment of beauty and creativity in others, enjoyment of our own creativity... God's creativity - all of these need no justification... This, like so much of biblical teaching, brings tremendous freedom - not guilty, backward looking fear, but freedom. Freedom that is brought through Christ's redemption, to go fuller, to go deeper, to go broader, to enjoy more - not to go narrower and narrower into an ever-shrinking hyped up gloomy little world of spiritual experience."

 

"You are tremendously free, you are the most free, for you have form on which to build your freedom, you know who you are... you know that you and your talent will live forever." (p.60)

"May we have the courage to reject and abandon the mediocrity of the church today and stand alone if need be...  May our Christianity be a freeing experience, not an ideological burden.  May we experience a freedom from guilt feelings, a willingness to take risks, make mistakes, but above all to live the life God has given us..." (p.65)

To this I can say hallelujah.

For Sheri

 

 

This is a picture of Sheri Ann Messina,

who was my best friend from 1st grade,

when we met in Mrs. Gartiser's class

at Saint Bonaventure's School.

 

We lived down the street from each other,

and we had frequent playdates and sleepovers.

Our sisters were best friends, too.

 

The thing that was different about being best friends with Sheri more than any other friends we both had was that we did the craziest things together and had the most fun together.  We talked about the future and how we would be best friends forever, maybe even raising our families near each other when we grew up and got married.

 

We made hilarious cassette tape recordings of ourselves, such as the one pictured above.  We made an extra copy of this one, and my aunt still has it.  I was surprised to find this one in my box of old cassettes, but I still haven't listened to it.  I don't know why I can't yet.  I am still looking for my favorite pictures of us together.  I know they are in a photo album that is covered with blue flowered fabric, but I don't know where the photo album is.  Please pray that it'll show up soon.  I have been praying about that for a while now, and it still hasn't.

 

But there are many memories of Sheri in different places in the remnants of my childhood, such as the autograph book page shown above where she was the first to write a message.  And in the Flowers for a Friend book I have on my shelf, which I found right around the sixth anniversary of her death, in 1999.  It was the book I'd been searching for since I had gotten her a copy once and I wanted one for myself to remind me.  It seemed to just appear and it reminded me that Sheri was with me, always in my heart.

 

This year I am doing something to honor my best friend.  I am planning to participate next weekend in an Out of the Darkness walk sponsored by the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention.  My fundraising webpage is here:

Brianne's Fundraising Webpage

I would be oh so grateful if you would donate towards my fundraising goal.  It has been nineteen years since Sheri's death, and I am finally doing something to outwardly to honor her life and her memory.  Our friendship meant the world to me, and Sheri's memory will always live strongly in my heart. 

 

 

Here is a poem I wrote for Sheri in 1997,

when I was seventeen years old.

I had a friend once who was my very best

The times we shared together were better than the rest

When she left I felt that my childhood was over

So many years of growing up and I didn’t even know her

Confusion struck me hard,

Things were no longer what I knew

Everything I once believed was now far from true

These times made me stronger, made me see a different light

I will never forget my best friend,

The one who took her life

Wherever I go she is on my mind

Forever & ever – I leave nothing behind

7/10/1997

 

Thank you for your support.

 

~Brianne

 

Life Dance

My favorite show by far is So You Think You Can Dance on FOX.  It's almost at the end of its ninth season.  The dancers captivate me as I watch them, and the choreographies are impressive.  Lately I have been writing down some of the thoughts this show stirs within me, as well as some of the quotes by the judges.

The collage pictured above is one I made with pictures of dancers that I found in my collection of collage materials.  I hung it up behind my desk so I could see it when I sit to write.  I would like to focus on why dance has such meaning for me, and dig deeper into the messages that coincide with the dance of life.

There is something special about the dancers who have their own style and quirkyness.  They bring all of themselves to the dance floor, knowing who they are and not being afraid to show it.  The dancers who are fluid in their ability to move carry versatility; they are able to take on whatever situation they are put into and handle it with grace.  When the dancer lives and breathes the music, she is able to become an embodiment of the piece - the soul of emotion, the music - and for those few minutes, another dimension is experienced. 

Trust is an essential element in the best dances.  When the dance partners trust each other, and when the dancers trust their choreography, they are able to allow themselves to be thrown fully into the routine, even if the dance throws them off-kilter.  When they go full on into it, no matter what it holds, it becomes a thing of brilliance and beauty. 

There is something about being surrendered to the dances that allows vulnerability to show through and gives the audience the opportunity to truly connect with the dancers.  When the audience is able to connect with the dancers on an emotional level, they can get through to the top - even without being the best dancer technically.  Technicality is not what matters most.  Perfection is thrown out the door.  It's about being able to realize that sometimes getting as into the routine as you need to in order to show your commitment to the piece sometimes means that you're going to have to beat yourself up pretty badly.  It's not always going to look pretty, as was explained about the piece Addiction, choreographed by Mia Michaels.

This show provides such a learning experience for me that I desire to carry over into life.  Strong messages are spoken of how I would like my Life Dance to be.  I want to be able to let it all out, let go of the baggage, "stop dancing with all the baggage," as the judges have encouraged some of the dancers to do.  I want to let loose and show emotion, show who I am in my daily moments.  I want to give something raw and uninhibited...  The dancers who push their limits and break down the walls are the ones who leave the biggest impressions and create the most unforgettable moments.

Enchantment

Just about a ten minute walk away,

past the lamposts reminiscent of worlds

beyond the wardrobe,

is a special place

where blue herons wade

and otters play.

 

 

 

It's a place of enchantment.

A place where poetry fills the air

and blossoms from below.

 

 

I bend down low, and listen.

 

Life teems in the stillness,

bubbles from beneath.

Breath is released,

water ripples.

Puffs of fluff, like promises,

reminders of hope

as fog lifts from the surface.

 

 

Happy wildflowers smile,

dewdrops on leaves,

beautiful and free.

 

Here, I sit with me.

Pouch for dreams -

soft, sky color -

a place to collect

and carry.

 

 



Swirls of life

abide,

reside.

 



 

With the layers

stripped away

in this place,

exposed

is a heart

with wings.

 

 

 

sharing with Clytie, too,

because there's a heart here