My word for 2014 was LIGHT.
I did not sculpt my word out of wire as had been my practice for my words in the past -
I did order a canvas from my friend Anna to represent my word, which I placed on the wall above my stove,
so I see it daily while I am cooking.
so I see it daily while I am cooking.
Anna shared a message with me about my word and this piece:
"When I see a picture of a sunrise/sunset, I honestly
don't know which it is. It depends on where you are. And sometimes when
we go through changes, we don't know. Is this the beginning or the end
of the light? In life, I wonder if there is one destiny. For some
people, change can be the end. Other people choose to make transitions
the beginning. I believe that light or darkness are no inevitabilities,
but rather something we choose and we chase."
She took her time in deciding what to create for me. She waited for inspiration to come to her, then created this image authentically.
My blog was very quiet this year - I did not feel inspired to share much here. I have continued to change my settings from private to public to only certain readers, and back to private again. What I have shared beyond a couple of posts about light has been kind of depressing. You would think that my year of LIGHT would be full of BRIGHT SHINING LIGHT.
(this photo and the ones below are pictures i took from my front window of the "supermoon")
The kind of light I experienced
wasn't the gleaming light that blinds a person.
It wasn't the kind of draining sun
that evaporates all the water and causes parched thirst.
It wasn't a scorching summer sun
that burns the skin and dries up the land.
As I reflect on this, I have tears in my eyes. I am taking deep breaths as I realize how truly meaningful my quiet year of light has been. I have sat with the deep seated melancholy & infinite sadness that has been part of me since I was so much younger. Through it all, the light has been consistent. It is there even when the clouds cover it. It reaches into the deepest part of my being, even when it glows as subtly as the sliver of a crescent moon or becomes blurred by movement.
I feel like I have just been waiting. Patiently at times, not so patiently at others. Angry sometimes, pleading for something to break through. Sad other times, fighting to genuinely smile.
There were many sad things in 2014, especially as the year came to an end. Sad things that happened to people in our community, hard things that happened to people we know.
We pretend to wear shields, but when things happen it chinks into our armor and pierces our vulnerability.
I found myself crying out "what the * is this life!?" many times.
As I reflect, it wasn't the year I was expecting, but I have a feeling that it's going to end up being one of the most important years of my life. A year of deep growth, and rooting. I have the image of a seed that lies deep underground, soaking in the warmth and important elements in the light rays that seep and penetrate through the darkness of layers of dirt, coaxing those life elements that exist inside to emerge
because of the existence of everlasting, consistent LIGHT.
There are two instrumental songs that have stuck out to me specifically while listening to songs play on one of my Pandora stations. They both are about LIGHT. Here are the YouTube videos that are my favorite choices to accompany the music.
This video shows a choreographed dance from the top 10 dancers of a season of "So You Think You Can Dance," one of my favorite shows. The choreography is by Travis Wall, who creates beautiful contemporary dances. I did not see this before searching on YouTube recently for a video to accompany this song by Sennen, so I was happily surprised to see this gorgeous dance here.
They Move on Tracks of Never Ending Light
This video is full of beautiful images to accompany the music. There are lots of glimpses of light here.
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