Hearts in the World

Heart bitten into leaf 

Heart shaped leaf 

Heart on my little girl's shirt 

Heart on my little girl's cheek 

Heart shaped by fungus growth 

Heart shaped by snowshoes pointing,

and me & my family.

Sharing with Clytie...  it's been a while...

One of Those, a poem by my father

This poem is by my Dad.... he won 2nd place in the annual Dylan Days contest (Bob Dylan, that is), and I'm so proud... my Dad is a world class poet.  Here it is:

One of Those ©....by RAK

if equinox delirium is moving in to stay
if all the good king's horses
are striking for more hay
if the earth should settle
into a final pose
give me time to draw my lines
and I'll take one of those

for every two-bit hustler
is a man of wealth and worth
and for every hard luck story,
there is one of myth and mirth
out as my days grow shorter
there is no scent of the rose
if only there were dreams to spare
i'd take one of those

talents's a judicious thing
it over steps it's bounds
as quickly as it's recognized
it's fired in rapid rounds
all that's left is skeleton
ten fingers and ten toes
as for moonlit melodies
give me one of those

a man insists on harmony
a man thrives on turmoil
soon the two are blended
absorbed into the soil
a man can see the future,
as far as tales he throws
what's happened to each second man?
i'll take one of those

there's something i've forgotten,
it's rotting in my brain
it disappears into the night
like a speeding train
with an all consuming appetite
I oversee the rows
of people lost and longing
and find i'm one of those

no drowning in self - pity
no torturous reserve
for anything you do in life
you get what you deserve
you've complicated matters
like weeds it grows and grows
and humans are mere numbers
and i am one of those

RAK

Beautiful Anger?

This year of transformation is changing me.  As with what happened with freedom, my word is pursuing me. 

It was suggested to me by a couple special people in my life, in a few different ways, to read the book Hinds Feet On High Places, and I did.  As its author Hannah Hurnard would write, lo and behold - it was much about transformation.  I had to get past some of the old fashioned writing and sayings, "thy little handmaiden" in particular, and doing so was well worth it to receive the overall message.

On my paperbackswap.com Wish List, I have many books that I add to keep track of those I hope to receive and read.  It is so interesting how at the right moment, certain books will be listed and my account will automatically request them when I am first in line on the wish list holds.  This happened recently with the book The Soul's Palette: Drawing on Art's Transformative Powers.  I repeat: Drawing on Art's Transformative Powers.  I receive. 

It will be in late May that I begin to take a class as I work towards earning my Master's Degree in Art Therapy at Marywood University.  This year, I can see it unfolding, my life is changing, I am growing, and deep transformation is occurring within me.

My wonderful cousin, (twice or thrice removed), lives in New Zealand, and we've only recently gotten in touch.  My aunt actually visited her, and is connected with her through facebook, which is how I connected with her.  It just so happens that she is also an artist, and she made me this collage shown below, which hangs on the wall in my bedroom.  (She participated in a Flat Stanley project for my kids, taking their Flat Selves all around in New Zealand - I will have to do a whole post on that at some point!  She totally showed us love with a whole huge package she sent in the mail, we are so blessed.)  One of the big messages of this collage is transformation: "successful transitions", "as I reinvent myself and am constantly curious about everything, I can't wait to see what's around the corner," "embrace life's changes," "freedom," the butterfly, the hummingbirds, the rooted lady, the glitter, the mountaintop, the angels guiding to open a new door...  What else do you see?

 

I love the warmth that radiates from this, into my life from the intention of its creation, and the sparkles that make this whole image shine.

And why do I call this post "Beautiful Anger?"  Because, it's the emotion that has led me to this place.  Anger is the emotion that has frustrated me, that I have fought with and questioned and been bitter towards.  Anger is the emotion that I haven't known how to make peace with and allow it to work positively within me.  As I let go and lift it up and seek to see through it to the other side, I see that anger can be used to become beauty. 

Perhaps it is that without such a strong emotion, I could sit in the same place forever - and I am not meant to do that.  I believe that God has specifically designed me to do something, many different things even, such as be a wife and mother, but also that I need to use the gifts and skills He has placed within me in the world.  I cannot stay complacent when anger burns and leads me on into the future.  I can learn to honor this feeling instead of fight it.  I can learn to hear its messages instead of will it away.

I read this on my new favorite homepage.  I got super tired of all the gossip and bad news on Yahoo, so now I have this one set and am feeding off of its positivity:  Daily Good - News that Inspires.  Here is a quote I read in an article that was posted on this site one day called "10 Life-Changing Facts about Anger:" 

"Meet your anger with love and let your heart break open. 
Then move forward with actions that are wise and skillful."

 

It does not come naturally to me to allow this to happen, but as I seek to renew my mind through the transformation of my thoughts, I am learning.

Burl Wood



Burl -

it grows on trees as a deformity;

a sign of stress,

such as insect or mold infestation.

 

Burl -

it is prized for its rare beauty;

artists who work with wood

know better than to judge

by its outward appearance.

 

A local journal featured an article about artisan

John Capanna, whose Creative Expressions in Wood

release the wood's natural beauty.

While working as a millwright, decades ago,

Capanna experienced an accident

that caused over 90% of his body

to be burned.

After surgeries and to work through

psychological and physical pain,

Capanna turned to woodworking.

 

In burl wood,

he found beauty,

brought out from deep within,

which he likens to

"digging into your own spirit."

 

We all have beauty -

beyond our scars,

our outward appearances,

our layers of pain and hurt.

Beyond all that deforms us

from reflecting what lies within -

complex, rare, exquisite beauty,

brought to the surface

by deep transformation,

through the process of

digging and smoothing,

of loving and trusting.

 



Basket

Transform

Here it is,

my word for 2013 :

 

 

sculpted out of wire,

hanging where I can see it,

 

reminding me of what I aspire towards,

and of what is seeking to change me.

 

My focus verse:

Romans 12:2

"And do not be conformed to this world,

but be transformed by the renewing of your mind,

so that you may prove what the will of God is,

that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

(NASB)

 

"Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world,

but let God transform you into a new person

by changing the way you think.

Then you will learn to know God’s will for you,

which is good and pleasing and perfect."

(NLT)


 



In a beautiful, lovingly handmade journal,

created and given to me by my special aunt,

I shall record bits and pieces of my journey this year,

the year of "transform"ing me.