Crumbs of Fear

The thought of throwing away
my old journals, my old poems, my old me
had crossed my mind many a time.

Better yet, I thought
I’d throw them in the fire.
That way they’d be completely gone -
Never rediscovered.

I did not want to go digging,
but there was a strong urge
calling me
to rediscover
who I always was.

And it surprises me, actually,
how much good is in these places
that I’ve shared my life in for years.
It surprises me how much
encouragement I have collected.

And even in the times of struggling expressed, I see
that good things were in store for me
and the wondrous experience of growing.

What all will I share from these?
It’s not completely clear to me;
right now I’m just typing.

And it’s hard and it’s fun
and it’s eye-opening.
And I’m scared
that it’s more than I can handle.

And I’m here blogging
and becoming part of community
because I need this –

There’s much silence
in my life
when it comes to my life & writing,
and I need voices surrounding me,
supporting.

I am scared of the silence
and of the unknown
but I step out,
tiny,

Offering,
Trusting,
Heart and Palm
Open.