Enchantment

Just about a ten minute walk away,

past the lamposts reminiscent of worlds

beyond the wardrobe,

is a special place

where blue herons wade

and otters play.

 

 

 

It's a place of enchantment.

A place where poetry fills the air

and blossoms from below.

 

 

I bend down low, and listen.

 

Life teems in the stillness,

bubbles from beneath.

Breath is released,

water ripples.

Puffs of fluff, like promises,

reminders of hope

as fog lifts from the surface.

 

 

Happy wildflowers smile,

dewdrops on leaves,

beautiful and free.

 

Here, I sit with me.

Pouch for dreams -

soft, sky color -

a place to collect

and carry.

 

 



Swirls of life

abide,

reside.

 



 

With the layers

stripped away

in this place,

exposed

is a heart

with wings.

 

 

 

sharing with Clytie, too,

because there's a heart here

Focus, Flow

I made the collage above using postcards prints, and a business card, from the artwork of an artist who owns a really cool restaurant and gallery space in Jim Thorpe, PA, called FLOW.  My family and I visited the place with some of our close family on an outing last winter.  My husband and I had read about it in a magazine and always wanted to see the place in person.  From the outside, our family questioned whether or not we knew our stuff, but once we got in, and after the whole experience, it was clear why we had been so excited to go.

 

I framed the compilation that I created from the postcard prints and placed it on the wall behind my counterspace, where I spend time preparing food for meals.  I needed something there to look at as a reminder of what inspires me and of what I am seeking, just like how my word 'freedom' sits on the ledge above my sink.

 

Last week, my kids and I kicked off our new season of homeschooling, and as any transition presents its challenges and special needs, I knew I needed to create something to help me focus on my goals and reasons for doing what we do. 

 

I traced the letters "F-O-C-U-S" on cardboard, and used materials from my collage collection to decorate them with messages and symbols of inspiration and motivation.

 

"Shift from annoyed to enjoyed"

"Changing the way"

"feel good, live simply, laugh more"

"A revolution of hope and healing"

"The Joy...  The Joy...  The Joy..."

"Love is the flower you've got to let grow..."

 

After gluing on the images, I covered the whole creation with glitter mod-podge, one of my favorite inventions.  Then I added some sparkly silver and gold stars for a special last touch.

 

Where will I put this, I wondered?  I wanted it somewhere that I could see it regularly, to be reminded and inspired by the messages in this piece.  I tried it out on top of the framed compilation from FLOW, and it fit just so: 

 

 

I am still able to see the images from the original collage in the background, and be reminded of the messages and visions in the artwork that spoke to me.  I especially like how the FLOW business card is fully visible between the C and the U.  Now this piece as a whole has more meaning to me and it is helpful to see it while I am spending time at my counter, catching glimpses of inspirational phrases and images that are meaningful to me.  

 

This is a special creation to have to the left of my sink.  This whole area is a space that I spend good chunks of time in, and it is helpful to ensure that it is a place that contains elements that are meaningful to me, that speak to me, and remind me of the intertwining of my inner and outer worlds, combined to help me focus and make me whole.

Everyone Else's Perfect Lives

I have lately been finding myself filled with the desire to shatter glass, and tear things.



It is not so much that I want to literally do these things as the satisfaction I get from imagining the sound of the glass against something hard or the sensory experiencing of tearing perfect cloth up its seams.

You see, everything falls apart.  And sometimes I question the strength of this world to hold us, to hold me and my thoughts.  There comes a time when even my faith is peeled back to the barest of bones, and I am left to wonder what will be contained in the marrow. 

And it's those ideals of perfection that lock us in cages, and keep us afraid to say that yes, we have also wondered, and you know what else and you know what my desires have been?  We nod our heads to things we don't agree with, just to keep the peace or the pretenses, but you know what I think:
Maybe you want to shatter glass too? 

But we're perfect, aren't we?  Everyone else? 
You and me, in each other's eyes?  Yes, no?  
Everyone else is better?  They have more peace, patience, prosperity, joy, love, time, courage, creativity - but how do you know?  Why do we think so?

They sit down to family meals together, after having a prayer time in which every child participates, no one is rolling their eyes, and all chewing of food has ceased.  They have it all under control, when their children misbehave, and no one in that house ever yells?  Gourmet meals are prepared for all to enjoy, and they never eat Wal-mart's popcorn chicken?  Every morsel is made from scratch with organic ingredients, isn't it? (insert smiles and winks)

I have made bread from scratch and think it's a fun process, but I do it maybe a few times per year.  I enjoy baking and have some excellent recipes, but I don't have time to do more than throw ingredients in with a boxed mix or stir up melted marshmallows and Rice Krispies for the football practice bake sale.  I have never attempted to make my own raviolis, but there are people who probably think I do just because I might have mentioned I thought it would be neat to try once, years ago.  Oh, me.  Want to come over for dinner for a week to see how it is truthfully?

My favorite movie during high school years was Quentin Tarantino's Natural Born Killers.  The comment by my freshman year of college English teacher in response to that?  I thought you were much different, so quiet.  I listen to almost all types of music, I have had the words to Dwyck and songs from Naughty by Nature memorized since I was a pre-teen, and it still makes me smile when I hear Bone Thugs N Harmony because I used to listen to their songs at night to go to sleep. 

I am not conservative OR liberal; I don't vote across a certain political line regularly.  I like to think about things and view issues from every side of the angle.  I may not shout out loud that hearing Pitbull's song "Crazy" at Zumba gets my blood pumping, or that sometimes I listen to Phish's "Run Like an Antelope" (out of control!) and want to do what it says...  But there are a lot of things you may not do that you want to do either.  So we have got something in common.  Oh, and after doing some intense writing, it helps me to listen to Rusted Root's "Back to the Earth" and dance to the beat.  And my son rolls his eyes at the dance moves I made up to Rihanna's song "We Found Love," but I can't imagine why (he rolls his eyes that is...)  Writing all of this is making me feel giddy!

There is a lot that we don't know about each other.  And that is alright with me.  If I'm not perfect, will you accept my flaws and all?  Will I be able to shatter my ideals of your perfect life as you share your truths with me?  Will the cracks in our lives let more light in, and bring us closer together? 

I am not perfect.  And because I'm not perfect, I know that no one else is either.  I'm also free to change, and so are you.  This idea of perfection is one that I continue to shatter and shred into tatters, because it constantly creeps in telling me it's true, and that I cannot compare to this one or that one because they are so much better than me, and I will never get there.  I do not find the need to turn everyday moments into confessionals, but when I find the hint of a thought about me that totally doesn't fit, I just hope I have the awareness and wherewithall to uproot it.  And I hope you do, too.

My code words are going to be these:  shatter!  shred!

So if you hear me saying this when we're talking about home decorating or gardening or who makes the best sand castles and gets gifts and flowers from their husband and updates their facebook status with pictures and posts of their fabulous locations and weekend plans, and who makes the biggest snowman this coming winter on days when I don't wanna get out of my pajamas, and....  (insert deep breaths here, because you know I could keep going...)

Well, I'm just gonna say it, because we have to remember this - we're not perfect and no one else is.  So let's honor ourselves for who we are and stop comparing because there's so much that no one can do like you do, or like I do, and it's those small things that really matter, the ones no one else really sees, and YOU are irreplaceable, you are beautiful, and you, my dear, are loved.

And you are enough.

And me too.

 

xoxoxoxoxo with love and hugs xoxoxoxoxoxo



What To Do?

 

What is there to do

when you find yourself

groping,

without realizing,

until the Voice on the still wind,

(the overcharged, stale air) 

leads you to find

the words of the prophet

that say we all do this,

"We grope along the wall like blind men,
We grope like those who have no eyes;
We stumble at midday as in the twilight,"

and you let out a sweet breath of release.

At the end there is hope,

a covenant that won't depart.



What do you do

and how do you begin

to live again

when you realize

that it is guilt,

it is shame,

that are the wrong ways,

the harmful rays

that need to go away;

NOT you,

or your life.

What do you do

when down is up

and up is down,

and you realize

what you have always really wanted to do

is slide down waterfalls

and drink rainbows,

happily -

and

happy -

that is what you have

always wanted

to be.
 



Adding this Sara Groves song, after realizing the words
"Sometimes this has left me groping in the darkness,

hoping in the darkness, I will run into you again,"

were contained in it.

"So I'll turn my back to the black and fall;

and pray for the mystery to rise up and meet me..."