Be Yourself

On the door of a bathroom stall at a favorite cafe,

there is this message, pictured above.

I had been trying on lots of labels for a while,

thinking that I needed to be this way or that way

in order to live rightly.

The Spirit intervened and has been redeeming:

redeeming me, and who I've always been,

redeeming who I need to be,

the real me

hidden beneath all the layers,

coming back to life again.

Again, I read the message, clearly

plain and simply stated,

on the wall of another bathroom

at a new favorite place

where my kids and I rollerskated

and they bounced on inflatables

and we all had fun, such fun.

And the vision is of me

and these layers being peeled off

of the masks I tried on for a while,

and underneath is me,

head tilted back

waterfall rushing over,

and I am at peace.

There is more writing on the wall

at this favorite cafe

a Dr. Seuss reminder:

"Today is your day!

Your mountain is waiting.

So...  get on your way!"

And I am utterly convinced

that I need to be myself,

and that you need to be yourself...

that every single person needs to be Who They Are,

and that we need each other to be unique

because there are things that only we can see

and experiences that only we can live,

and we need each other desperately

to bring forth into the world

what individual gifts

have been crafted into us only.

Be yourself -

you're the only you there is,

and I am the only me.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull

Have you ever read Jonathan Livingston Seagull, a story by Richard Bach?  It is one of my all time favorite books, and there is a story attached to how I received my copy.  I wrote about how it came into my possession in pencil on its inside cover.  I'll just retype exactly what I wrote, rather than edit myself.

"i was meant to have this book.  near the end of my senior year in high school, i was walking up the stairs of the 500 wing.  i saw this book on the stairs, but i didn't take it.  this book had just become one of my favorite books a week or two before this, after borrowing it from tara (my sister).  i thought someone would come back for it, maybe.  later that day me & my friends went outside the doors of that same stairwell to just sit and chill.  it was by where we were painting our mural.  not many people go there.  and what did i see but this book, lying on the grass.  so it's mine now.  it was obviously meant for me."

I remember sharing that with someone at some point and the comment I got was something along the lines of "wow, you're really weird."  I laugh at that comment now as I type this, but for a while it made me self-conscious of such occurences, so I've kept them to myself. 

It's almost 15 years now since I've acquired this book, and I hadn't reread it until this week.  The message within it began to come back to me after I made that Seagull Collage, because I started to think about seagulls again and Jonathan Livingston popped into my head, and I went to go find quotes from the book to write on the back of the collage.  It also occurred to me that I used a seagull picture for the front of my Freedom Journal, with the quote "You Were Meant For The Sea". 

So I went into the bin in our crawl space that holds many of our books, due to the fact that we are only just now acquiring bookcases and getting our gems out of bins and back onto shelves.  I dug out Jonathan Livingston Seagull, reread it, and here's what happened:

I think I will entitle this "Fly Off the Page" and I need to get more canvas and paint to make more of these.  Friends, if you want one, tell me?  I will paint a "Fly Off the Page" series and it will encourage me.  On the counter to the left of my sink, I will find freedom and experience peace, as I paint for you and for me. 

Tying up this week's theme, which happened unintentionally by me, but must've been planned by Someone Greater, Who gives me a loving wink....  and my heart flutters with praises...

(from pg. 30 of Jonathan Livingston Seagull): 

" 'When they hear of it,' he thought, 'of the Breakthrough, they'll be wild with joy!' "

(from pg.30-31):

"...there's a reason to life!

... we can be free!  we can learn to fly!"

Read the book.  I dare you!  ;-)

Free, Now & Then

page from current Freedom Journal

and poem found in an old journal that fit perfectly with the picture

Free

She stands…
A lone figure on the distant horizon.
Her soft voice is carried by the breeze -
She sings her song of freedom,
Of the eagle that soars high and proud,
Of the wolf, brave and triumphant,
Of creatures big and small,
Of herself,
She is free.

                                                         ~Brianne, 1997

~Abstract Reality~

This little journal...  I've had this for about twenty years. 

Its pages are unlined and they were all blank. 

All that was in it was my name, and an orange happy face sticker.

This little diptych,

a teeny version of a larger original,

seemed the perfect fit.

Here is what was written behind the photographs: 

"these two =

trying to compare

fantasy & reality

one is an abstract painting i did

& the other is me trying to imitate

the pose i see in it.

my arms trying to reach into the other.

i did this one bigger for a class

perhaps i will show you one day."

This journal is now used for word-catching,

capturing ideas with jots of thoughts,

such as:

miniscule,

threadbare,

cusp,

wisp,

symmetrical reflections

Below are words found in my little penguin journal through journal redemption. 

These were the makings of a paper to be typed and handed in with an assignment for

Photography class at Ramapo College, in which this diptych photograph was included. 

In photography, the artist’s eye pauses in time to capture pieces of reality.  Often pictures are viewed independently; when images are placed next to each other, artists and viewers are forced to compare and contrast.  Moreover, a whole new meaning is created.  When the time is taken to stop and stare we “can find ourselves recognizing similarities that overturn our comforting notions of ourselves.”  To ‘recognize’ mpre than just to define the photographed subject – it is to “recognize, to re-think” (pg.10).  Instead of quickly walking past and thinking, “Oh, what a nice picture,” then going on, to the next; multiple photographs placed on top of each other or sequentially, make a person pay more attention to the “message.”   Multiple images in one suggests that there’s a connection between them and gives the artist and viewer a mind mission to journey, that is, to find the meaning.
Works of art that are full of meaning leave the strongest impression on those who come in contact with them.  The relationship between artwork and viewer is a true learning experience in which one may feel pleased or disgusted.  Works of art have the power to even profoundly alter “the very way we think, feel, see and ultimately act” (pg. 12).  The deeper the meaning of it goes, the more of an impression it will leave in a person’s mind as he walks away from it.
Sometimes photography is viewed as representing the “world of fact” instead of “the world of art.”  It is dangerous to separate the two, for “without imagination and vision, we could not construct that austere notion, truth and without immediate contact with actuality, art would have no more vitality.  Or an lace curtains without even a window to hang them on.” (p.13) 
Art is a part of reality, for it exists within the real world we are a part of right now.  I can understand, see what Searle is talking about in this distinction, however, and it is a point I chose to question in one of my diptychs.
Painting is a freeing experience for me, and I especially enjoy painting abstractly.  In the piece surrounded by a border of half paint and half pine tree points; the picture on the left is of a painting I did while listening to piano music.  In it, I see a girl dancing and it looks as if she’s in a forest.  The photo on the left is my realistic representation of the feeling or mood of the painting on the right.  The mood I captured in the photograph of me is close to the mood the painting causes me to feel, but is not as deep as the painting itself.
Abstract works of art cause the imagination to work and another person may not see the similarity between the two that I do, for he or she may have a different take on the piece than me.  I try to assimilate art with reality as much as possible, but I do see the difference.  In this piece, I explore the difference between the two and find that reality does not live up to the world of my imagination.  I wish it would and I hold deeply onto the world that exists in my mind, which is why my hand is reaching into the painting.  As the border, pine needles in real life are sharp, as the truth of reality is sometimes harsh.  In my paintings I can make anything look how I want to and sharp edges can feel softer.
The diptych of the girl blowing bubbles with the want picture above her head is one that represents the feeling of the past weekend.  I was at a Harvest Moon Festival, enjoying beautiful music with wonderful people.  An escape from reality, some would say it was, but it did take place in the real world.  It was sad to return to the routine of everyday life, I will admit.  This diptych can be described as a “synchedoche (representing a whole by one of its parts)” (p.101?), for it represents the mood of the festival for me.  I present it with the hope that it’ll convey the same feeling to its viewers.
Lastly is the “Foxfire Burns & Burns” piece, which is a photo of graffiti I found in a tunnel.  I, the artist, have chosen to manipulate the true presentation of these images, which always gives me a powerful feeling.  Grafitti is art in itself, however it is a form that people usually walk right past.  “It shows us the rich variegation of a world full of messages we have scarcely known how to read because without the photo, they perish” (p.19).  I chose to photograph this message and now present it to the class wondering what others may get from it, for each “message” is different for every person.
One thing I love about art is its everywhere-ness.  A person who is aware and whose eyes are wide open and whose mind is always at work can recognize, see, find meaning in the least likely of places.  Photography is a hobby of man for it is simple to snap a button to capture a moment.  The more difficult task is making it into art by giving it meaning.  Which is what we are here in this class to discover, discuss, to do.                                                             - my words, from sometime in 2000

I am so glad I found this. 

I am so thankful that I did not throw it all away.